The Affair that I didn't want to end

WOW! I just wanted that out right off the bat. Wow to Graham Greene's The End of the Affair. Wow to Colin Firth's reading of the book. Just wow.

This audiobook is the version of "unputdownable" for audiobooks. I started listening to it on my way to work from school and I didn't want to stop. I had to because of work but I listened it on my commute home and finished it within that day. After finishing it, I wanted to listen to it again. I don't know what kept me more enthralled, if it was the narration of Firth or the text itself. Even now, I have to remind myself of the hundreds of books in my TBR list to keep myself from listening to it again. 

I find this book atypical from the other 1001 books because the prose is "simple" compared to the majority in the list. And yet the impact is there. In fact, it is the candor that draws the reader in. 

This novel is exquisite and beautiful. It is that kind of book that entangles you. I felt acute sadness when it ended and just wanted it to go on. I am going to try and find the movie they made with Julianne Moore and see how that holds up.

Opening: A story has no beginning or end, arbitrarily, one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.

True Grit: Wading through Manila with Tartt and Portis

Last Thursday, my Action Research class was called off because of exceptionally heavy traffic due to flooding. It normally takes me 2 hours to get to class from Fairview but that day, it took me 4 hours to get to school. Good thing though that I had previously loaded a couple of audiobooks into my phone. That day, I started listening to Donna Tartt's reading of Charles Portis's True Grit. 

I have read The Secret History (Tartt) as part of 1001 challenge so I was pleasantly surprised that she is the one reading True Grit. At the end of the edition I have, there is an essay by Tartt on how important True Grit is to her family.

There is a part of me that is almost thankful that I got stuck in traffic that day. True Grit is not something I will pick up and read. Westerns just isn't my cup of tea. Listening to the audiobook, however, made me appreciate the book. Tartt is engaging as a reader and was able to give life to the different characters. The story and writing itself is simple but the simplicity adds to the experience, instead of detracting from it. 

People normally focus on the details of the story or the writing when they talk about a book. This book reminded me that every book I read is an experience. That apart from the story of the book, there is also the story of me reading it. I am therefore thankful for this book, not only because it was such an entertaining story but also because it kept me sane during that 4 hours of trying to get to school, despite hell or high water (literally, in this case).

Random post: Cramming

"Cramming" before class. Reminds me of my undergrad days. 

Weekend...what weekend?

So it was a pretty hectic work week and even though we technically had no classes last Thursday, that just meant more homework. The whole week, I felt like I was just reacting, fighting fires left and right. It's stressful but I realize that a big part of my new job will depend on how well I react to whatever is thrown at me.

This weekend, I plan to work on my life plan. It's a requirement for my Lasallian Leadership class and although it will only fall due two weeks from now, I have actually been thinking about my various goals so might as well use that.

If there was one life lesson I kind of wish that I learned when I was still young; it is that Time is a finite resource. I am not really a "Planner", my thinking being, if you make plans, you are closing yourself off to other opportunities. Back in HS or college, I would have crammed the lights out of this assignment (the irony is not lost on me). I think I will always be more of the spontaneous type but I also realize the importance of having plans and goals.

As they say, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I have been giving my personal miss statement a lot of thought lately, and since one's goals and plans should be integrated with one's personal mission statement, I am actually looking forward to this project.

If that's the only thing I have for the weekend, I would have been a happy camper. Unfortunately, I have readings I need for my two subjects, a paper due on Thursday, and a group case study I need to start working on. I also desperately need to squeeze in some time for leisure reading.For my sanity's sake. 

I have come to accept that it will be a long time before I get a real "weekend". Oh well, it's the things we do for the things we are passionate about...

Bullets to fill up the blanks

Let's do this:

• I have read 262 of the 1001 books so far. (Actually, it is 1300+ books since I combined 2008, 2010, and 2012 lists.) 
• Of the original 96 books to be read, 16 remains unread. I have swapped out most of those for other books in the list. 
• Also read a number of "pop" books. Just wanted to mix it up.
• Yes, I read the  "Fifty Shades" trilogy. I am a firm believer that you can only hate on something if you've actually experienced it. The whole series feels like 2 1/2 books too long and made me seriously re-consider my commitment on finishing books I start
• Read (more on, plowed through) the 1st book of Mortal Instruments. Life is too short to bother reading the rest. 
• Dan Brown's Inferno is a disservice to Alighieri
• Last year, I was able to fulfill my challenge of reading 140 books. This year, I decreased it to 120 books in anticipation of my MBA classes. 1st week of classes made me realize I need to scale it down even further.
• Goodreads is the BOMB!
• Thank you Amazon for creating the Kindle. The Paperwhite is definitely one of my essentials in life.
• Special mentions: 1Q84, The Luminaries, The Sense of an Ending, A Visit from the Goon Squad, Fahrenheit 451, Sputnik Sweetheart, The Satanic Verses, The Savage Detectives, All Quiet on the Western Front, For Whom the Bell Tolls,The Plague, Hell by Henri Barbusse
• To call James Joyce's Ulysses as "challenging" doesn't begin to cut it. Took me almost 2 months to finish. 
• Currently reading: The Bonfire of the Vanities
• Book Challenge for this year: Moby-Dick 

Sidebar:

• Transferred work this year (lot of big changes this year). 
• Was able to travel to Budapest, Singapore, and Guangzhou for work.
• Not really into Big Bang Theory anymore. Still love Sheldon Cooper, though.
• The engagement did not work out. Shit happens.
• In a relationship for almost 2 years. Just goes to show that shit happens for a reason.

The Two Kinds of Freedom

A book about the dystopian future, Handmaid's Tale made me realize that there are so many freedoms that I take for granted.   Gilead is the end-product of an ultra-conservative group's destabilization and call for a new world order.  It tells of a world without choice, especially for women.  Women were stripped of all properties and all rights and were treated as chattels, judged according to their use in society.  We have the Wives, the Marthas, the Handmaids, etc.

"There is more than one kind of freedom...Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don't underrate it."

 
Given the amount of freedom that I am enjoying today, it haunts me to think that there might come a time where I will only have freedom from choice, instead of the freedom to choose.  I hope it never happens in my lifetime.  I hope it never happens...Period.

"You can wet the rim of a glass and run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound. This is what I feel like: this sound of glass. I feel like the word shatter."

Mao II: A Look on Terrorism and Mass Organization

Don DeLillo's 10th novel, Mao II deals with terrorism and mass media that were also the themes explored in his novel, Falling Man. 

"What terrorists gain, novelists lose.  The degree to which they influence mass consciousness is the extent of our decline as shapers of sensibility and thought."

Considering that the work was published in 1991, the novel is considered to be ahead of its time in foreseeing an age of terror and its effect on America.  One of the main themes explored in the novel is the "psychology of crowds" as seen in the mass cult wedding depicted in the first chapters.  I liked Falling Man more but I think the reason for this is because I will never forget watching on television the actual falling down of the two towers and I saw how this changed the world.

As to the title of the novel...

"Bill had his picture taken not because he wanted to come out of hiding but because he wanted to hide more deeply, he wanted to revise the terms of seclusion, he needed the crisis of exposure to give him a powerful reason to intesify his concealment.  Years ago there were stories that Bill was dead...they were not about Bill so much as people's need to make mysteries and legends.  Now Bill was devising his own cycle of death and resurgence.  It made Scott think of great leaders who regenerate their power by sropping out of sight and then staging messianic returns.  Mao Zedong of course..."

Even though this has always been a personal blog, I have carefully avoided in making this, well, too personal....and a lot of it went into making sure that I don't put up any rants whatsoever...but in retrospect, screw that...

it's 12:40 am...my back is killing me but my mind refuses to go to sleep...(sorry spine, you just have to buck it up)...it's true what they say that if you don't expect, you won't get disappointed....easier said than done...i guess i just assumed i meant a little more...they say that when you assume, you just make an ass of U and me...more of me in this case....oh well, those tears cried are lessons learned...crystallizing everything in its proper place, correct perspective...message received, loud and clear

times like this, i just want to shrug it all off and walk away...don't worry, i can feel the blood already coagulating...what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger

speaking in riddles...so what...get your own blog

"We carry the dead with us only until we die too"

"Thus in the minds of the many does the one ramify and disperse. It does not last, it cannot, it is not immortality. We carry the dead with us only until we die too, and then it is we who are borne along for a little while, and then our bearers in their turn drop, and so on into the unimaginable generations...True, there will be something of us that will remain, a fading photograph, a lock of hair, a few fingerprints, a sprinkling of atoms in the air of the room where we breathed our last, yet none of this will be us, what we are and were, but only the dust of the dead."

 Winner of the Man Booker Prize and John Banville's 18th novel, The Sea is told in Max Morden's viewpoint.  Reeling from his wife's death, Max retreats to a cottage by the sea where he used to spend his summers.  It is there that we are taken in a journey through his recollections of his childhood summers with the Graces and the time before his wife's death.  The novel was poignant and honest and all praises for this book are well-deserved.

To love life for what it is....

A mark of a truly great book is when it makes you realize something about yourself and/or the world you live in.  The Hours by Michael Cunningham gave me something extraordinary.  It gave me a sense of normalcy.

"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep. It's as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out windows, or drown themselves, or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us are slowly devoured by some disease, or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself. There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds & expectations, to burst open & give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) know these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning, we hope, more than anything for more. Heaven only knows why we love it so."
-Laura

The book is simply beautiful. The re-imagining of Virginia's life and its relation to Laura and Clarissa was exquisite

"To look life in the face. Always to look life in the face. And to know it for what it is. At last to know it is. To love it for what it is. And then to put it away. Leonard always the years between us, always the years. Always the love. Always the hours."
-Virginia

A Spark of Inspiration

There are times in your life that you suddenly stop and wonder what the hell it is you are doing with your life.  I don't think I could say it any better than Ayn Rand:

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."

-Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)

"A Statue of Atlas at the Rockefeller Plaza"

Twenty-one: Tess of 'd Ubervilles

Interesting Factoid?

The book was made into a movie by Roman Polanski.  He decided to make this into a movie because he was given a copy of the novel by his late wife the last time he saw her.

Impressions?

The whole time I was reading it, the only thing I can think about is how tragic the story is.  It tells of the loss of innocence, the loss of love and faith.  Tess is a compelling character and you can’t help but be haunted by her plight.

Most Memorable?

"Thus, the thing began. Had she perceived this meeting's import she might have asked why she was doomed to be seen and coveted that day by the wrong man, and not by some other man, the right and desired one in all respects..."

"You, and those like you, take your fill of pleasure on earth by making the life of such as me bitter and black with sorrow; and then it is a fine thing, when you have had enough of that, to think of securing your pleasure in heaven by becoming converted!"

Twenty-one: Sense and Sensibility

Interesting Factoid?

This is the first novel of Jane Austen and underwent several revisions before finally being published in 1811.  The first draft was finished in 1795 when Jane was only 19.

Impressions?

My first Jane Austen (I’m not proud).  This is the only book in this list with a happy ending.  Compared to the other books, this is actually light reading.  When I say light reading, I am in no way pertaining to the content but to the effect it has on me as a reader.  It was actually a welcome change from all the “heavy” reading I have been doing so far.

Most Memorable Lines?

“There is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions.”

“Elinor had not needed ... to be assured of the injustice to which her sister was often led in her opinion of others, by the irritable refinement of her own mind, and the too great importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility and the graces of a polished manner. Like half the rest of the world, if more than half there be that are clever and good, Marianne, with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition, was neither reasonable nor candid. She expected from other people the same opinions and feelings as her own, and she judged of their motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself.”

Twenty-one: The Age of Innocence

Interesting Factoid?

The Age of Innocence – Although the book also serves as a sort of commentary on the high society with its its use of irony and other literary tools, Edith Wharton considers this novel as an “apology” for how brutal her other book (The House of Mirth) was.

Impressions?

I loved this book.  I loved the way Edith Wharton played with language and the barely veiled contempt for high society.  I can’t wait to read The House of Mirth

Most Memorable Lines?

“In reality they all lived in a kind of hieroglyphic world, where the real thing was never said or done or even thought, but only represented by a set of arbitrary signs…”

“It would presently be his task to take the bandage from this young woman's eyes, and bid her look forth on the world. But how many generations of the women who had gone to her making had descended bandaged to the family vault?”

Twenty-one: The Trial

Interesting Factoid?

The actual novel was never completed by Franz Kafka.  He instructed his friend Max Brod to burn the manuscript upon his death.

Impressions?

Although it is unfinished, the novel is still powerful.  Maybe that is part of the reason why it has made such an impact.  The fact that we would forever wonder what it could have been otherwise

Most Memorable lines?

“It’s sometimes quite astonishing  that a single, average life is enough to encompass so much that it’s at all possible ever to have any success in one’s work here. On the other hand, there are also dark moments, such as everyone has, when you think you’ve achieved nothing at all, when it seems that only the trials to come to a good end are those that were determined to have a good end from the start and would do so without any help, and all the others are lost despite all the running to and fro, all the effort…”

Twenty-one: A Clockwork Orange

Interesting Factoid?

In one of his other works, Anthony Burgess has stated that he is prepared to repudiate this novel because of the danger of it being misunderstood. 

Impressions?

Like the movie, the book was really violent but contrary to what other people might think, the book does not actually promote violence.  For me, it is actually about the concept of good and evil.  If someone does not have a choice but to do good, will it even count?  The concept of a clockwork orange also made a strong impression on me.  Organic on the outside but mechanical on the inside.

Most Memorable Lines?

“When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man”

“Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some ways better than a man who has the good imposed upon him”

“The attempt to impose upon man, a creature of growth and capable of sweetness, to ooze juicily at the last round the bearded lips of God, to attempt to impose, I say, laws and conditions appropriate to a mechanical creation”

Twenty-One: Falling Man

Interesting Factoid?

There is a performance artist in the book that suspends himself upside down wearing a business attire reminiscent of a photograph by Richard Dew.  Don DeLillo claims that he did not know that the title of the photograph is also Falling Man

Impressions?

A couple of firsts with this book.  First novel I read that is related to 9/11 and my first Don DeLillo.  What can I say, it was an awesome first impression and I can’t wait to get started with both Underworld and White Noise.

Most Memorable lines?

“There were people shouting up at him, outraged at the spectacle, the puppetry of human desperation, a body’s last fleet breath and what it held.  It held the gaze of the world, she thought.  There was the awful openness of it, something we’d not seen, the single falling figure that trails a collective dread, body come down among us all.”       

“But does a man have to kill himself in order to count for something, be someone, find the way?”

Twenty-one: Their Eyes Were Watching God

Interesting Factoid?

This book along with its author Zora Neale-Hurston almost slipped into “oblivion”.  It took the efforts of Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, to renew interest in Neale-Hurston and her works.

Impressions?

I liked how the author used the vernacular of that time to make the story come alive.  I know that there were people who actually criticized the use of the language as mocking but I don’t believe that Zora meant it to be that way.  For me, it gave it color (no pun intended)

Most Memorable lines?

“She found that she had a host of thoughts she had never expressed to him, and numerous emotions she had never let Jody know about. Things packed up and put away in her heart where he could never see them.  She was saving up feelings for some man she had never seen”

“…their eyes straining against crude walls and their souls asking if He meant to measure their puny might against His.  They seemed to be staring at the dark, but their eyes were watching God”

“…love ain’t somethin’ lak uh grindstone dat’s de same thing tuh everything it touch.  Love is lak de sea.  It’s uh movin’ thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from de shore it meets, and it’s different with every shore”

Twenty-One

00As usual, I have been pretty behind in updating the blog in terms of the books I have read so far.  The thought of not being able to accomplish what I have set out to do has been in the back of my mind for quite some time.  The thought nags me at the oddest hours and in varying degrees that I just have to do something about it.  I have just finished Wuthering Heights this morning and with that, my list now totals 14 which is frankly overwhelming.

So here is how it would work.  

7 books.

3 questions. Interesting Factoid? Impressions? Most memorable lines?

Start.

Reverse Insomnia

Weekends are supposed to be avenues to get some much needed rest and relaxation.  It is supposed to give you some of your sanity back.  Unfortunately, this is not always the case.  I woke up last Saturday at 3 AM and could not get back to sleep no matter how hard I tried.  Ok, ok, I'll be the first one to admit that playing Plants vs Zombies Survival Endless Mode is not exactly the most effective way of going about it. 

To make a long story short, my body clock is so messed up.  My body is telling me that it is already Friday even though there are still four more workdays to go.  I either keep myself awake through countless cups of coffee or prop my body upright with a stick.  The way I am feeling, I may even need to do both...Somebody HELP!!!!!